cooking and baking dreams

I love to cook. I am kind of addicted to cooking. I also like to cook new things. I like to experiment and spruce up recipes to make them a little more exciting. I also like to not use any recipe and see if I can make something up on my own. I usually can, and I usually do, and the results are amazing. However, there are days when I just DO NOT want to cook. I don’t want to do any more work because my 8-10 hours at the office were just so busy and draining. I looked at the beloved last night and said, “I wish there was a restaurant in this town that served our food so we wouldn’t have to cook it.”

We make some damn good food. And that is not me just being full of myself, it’s fact. We have cooked for many people and we always get raving reviews. We’re a good team in the kitchen—we know what the other will be doing next and have this fluidity of moving together in the kitchen. It makes it nice since our kitchen isn’t the largest.

We’ve discussed opening a restaurant where we cook whole, organic foods. With a dessert section of course, because your meal would not be complete with just dinner. It would need one of my delicious desserts to top it off—to put you over the edge into sweet bliss.

I never did much cooking in college. It’s kind of hard. You work, you come home, you do homework, and then you have to cook? No thanks, I’ll just stick with eating a pint of coconut milk coffee ice cream, thankyouverymuch! That right there is probably why I was in the 200s when I graduated.

When I moved out, I cooked more. I had more time with only working 32 hours a week. It was so nice to get home from work and not ever have to turn on a computer to do homework. I could cook, read, have a dance party, or all the above. It’s still awesome. I have some obligations here and there, but nothing as time consuming as school.

I have been seriously debating on turning this love of cooking/baking of mine into a career. Making a cookbook, teaching some classes on how to cook/bake gluten-free and vegan, opening a bakery/restaurant… something to get me out of sitting in an office all day. I have allergies to both gluten and dairy, so I have altered my baking to exclude both of those things. I can obviously make a cake with all the normal ingredients, but I take pride in the fact that I have become a specialized chef. I like being different and offer people healthy alternatives.

Luckily, my partner is an excellent photographer, so might start putting together a little book anyway and give it to friends as a test run and see if they’d be willing to give me some critiques and advice, as well as tell their friends/family about this awesome new cookbook to purchase! We’ll see. All I know is that I need a change, but not yet. The Oracle has told me that opening a bakery will happen, but right now is not the time—I need to work on grounding myself and the idea a bit more before charging ahead. And I will take that time. She knows best. I might start a blog as well as a jumpstart to the cook book. But, I am pretty snobby with my recipes and don’t like to share. We’ll see what happens. Stay tuned.

What is with "The Best?"

“The Best.” We hear it regularly. If you’re on Facebook, you hear, or rather read it on a daily basis. “I have the best boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, life, fill in the blank.” But what exactly is “the best?” I mean, it’s impossible to know what the universal “best” is because we all have our own standards of “the best.” What’s funny to me is how much people take to social networking to make sure EVERYONE KNOWS that their life is THE BEST EVER. But, looking back at some of these posts, these same people who claim that they have the best of something, usually were complaining about it two weeks prior. “Came home, made dinner, and so and so didn’t even acknowledge my existence. I guess I am not worth noticing” Something so negative about the person they share their life with, but then two days later, because they bought this person chocolates or flowers (which is a stupid, stupid thing to do) to show “how much they care” all of a sudden, THE BEST gets thrown around again. I am sorry, but that just doesn’t make sense. It is completely irrational for people to go from feeling pity, even anger about someone and then because of a purchase of something so material like flowers, that someone is THE BEST EVER! OH. MY. GAWWWD!

I feel like there is no universal meaning of “the best.” At least, there shouldn’t be. A lot of people tend to view shows on TV, or movies, or their friends’ relationships and think that’s how a relationship should be. But, that’s just setting the relationship up for failure. Nothing is the same. No relationship is the same, nor should it be, because then you will be going in a circle of repetitiveness, and who wants that?

I, personally, have my own definition of “the best.” But, I only apply it to myself. Did I do MY best today? Did I do MY best at decorating that cake? Did I do MY best at cooking something up for dinner? Did I do MY best to let someone know I love them? Did I do the best that I could do today? That’s what matters. Sure, I can say I have the best life, the best partner, the best WHATEVER, but what I consider the best is not what someone else would consider the best. It is almost a pet peeve of mine when someone writes that they have best kids, best husband, wife, or what have you. It not only seems to be a way to try and uplift themselves, but make everyone jealous or upset because they don’t have whatever it is someone is best-ing.

We all get wrapped up in it. Whether it is applying it to people or life, or applying it to massages, food, recipes, you name it. We all do it. I am trying harder to not do it because I find it so ridiculously annoying when other people do it. I often say I make the best gluten free and vegan scones. And, I do because I did my best to make them. I feel like the word “best” should only be applicable to you. Not anyone else or not any other subject. The best should be you, “I did my best.” That’s all we can ever wish and/or ask for… At the end of the work day, I often say I did the best that I could, because it’s true. Even if there were crises or something else that threw a wrench in the day, I did the very best I could do.

It’s an interesting concept. I challenge people to pay more attention to how many times they say “the best…” because I bet it’s more than they thought. We do it in everything. And instead of focusing on the outer things in life, I would much rather hear “the best” for personal use.

2 years of love!

I have been with my beloved for two years now. Well, we don’t actually have a “start” date in our relationship. Today, two years ago, was when he first kissed me. We had just finished one of our 5 hour long conversations at the Wine Loft enjoying a glass or two of wine and right in the middle landing of the staircase, he pushed me against a wall and kissed me so very intimately. My response to such a kiss, “That was hot!” And thus began us dating!

This relationship is different than any of the other relationships I have had. For the first time ever, I have been myself. Not someone somebody else wanted me to be, or what I thought they wanted me to be. I am 100% me in this one, and it’s a damn good feeling. Anyone who knows me knows that I can be inappropriate, don’t have a filter, and can be REALLY loud. And that’s perfectly ok in this relationship. I never get embarrassed or feel the need to change the way I act or respond to things. It’s all accepted and, dare I say, expected.

My relationship with myself has changed as well, which probably has to do with this relationship being the healthiest relationship—I myself am finally healthy. I have learned to love and accept myself completely. I have learned that my awesome German hips are something to be proud of. I have learned to be more accepting and forgiving of myself when I have done something that I may not necessarily like. I have learned to just live and love my life, because honestly, I have a great one. I have great people in my life, a family that supports and loves me unconditionally… I really am blessed with all that I have. And I think because of this realization that I have of myself that I found someone who is perfect for me. Someone who respects not only me, but himself; someone who loves me and also loves himself; someone who is here in the moment, in the now, and makes life fun.

I have never lived with a partner before because, well… they never lasted very long. After a year of dating we moved in together. I wasn’t nervous or scared, I was really excited! I had never co-habited before and I couldn’t wait! We’ve had a few adjustments, and some moments of not getting along, as in all relationships, but we keep trying. We stick it out and work it out. I’ve learned a lot about myself and about the person I share my life with. We’re always pretty much on the same track, but there are days, just like anyone, where the communication gets mixed up and leads to misunderstandings. But, open communication makes it easy to fix, instead of hiding it inside and over thinking something.

I am very thankful for this relationship, this partnership with my beloved. It’s been such a great two years, and I look to many more years. We are both on the same path in life, and we both want the same things. This year, we hope to travel abroad for 2-3 weeks, and hopefully be able to pull it off every year. Seeing the world is something we both want to do, and luckily we can see it together.

While it’s only been two years, it doesn’t feel like two years. It’s gone by quickly and slowly at the same time. I feel like I’ve known him forever, been with him for centuries, which I have but not in this life. We always find each other in each life, and I am so thankful for that. He’s my soul mate, I honestly believe and know it.  We’ll continue to find each other in our different lives. But more importantly, we’re in this life currently together, and what a beautiful life it is. I am a very, very lucky woman. 

2012 reflect

To say that 2012 wasn’t a great year would be lying. 2012 was a fantastic year! I am thankful for all the experiences I had and all the people I have in my life.

Some highlights from 2012:

January:

• The purchase of a house and moving in together

February:

• Being part of the Vagina Monologues in Flagstaff and having family fly from a different state come and support me, as well as many friends within town who came to the event

March:

• Digging up the entire backyard to make a vegetable and fruit garden

Having the experience of a garden, something I’d never had before

April:

• Experiencing Coachella for the first time (and probably the last)
• The first salad from the vegetables we grew (so freakin’ delicious)

May:

• Going to Davis, CA to meet the other side of the family and celebrating life, death, love, and peace (also having a giant dance party)
• Celebrating 26 years of my life

June:

• Riding a bike for the first time in what seems like my entire life
• Buying an awesome red bike with a white basket and riding it to work

July:

• 9 day road trip visiting: North Rim of Grand Canyon, Bryce, Zion, Brian Head, and seeing family in Carson City, enjoying an awesome concert in Tahoe, and then making the 13 hour journey back to Flagstaff
• Weighing in the 150’s, something that has not happened since probably grade school

August:

• Watching the beloved in his first fencing tournament and taking 3^rd place
• Brandi Carlile Concert with two of my favourite people
• Having the beloveds mother out for a visit and enjoying cooking, baking, reading, dancing, and exploring
• Going on a mini-river trip from Glen Canyon Dam to Lees Ferry with a bunch of awesome work people

September:

• Fitting into size 8 jeans

October:

• Baking 100 cupcakes and a two tiered wedding cake for a dear friend
• Getting a text message from another dear friend (made while in England) asking if I’d be her bridesmaid

November:

• Experiencing the craziness at work with a High-Flow Experiment
• Writing a lot of papers for the High-Flow Experiment
• Going to Glen Canyon Dam to see the High-Flow Experiment and taking an awesome field trip down the river at look out points with a good group of people
• Celebrating the beloveds 32^nd year of life
• Making a HUGE organic, unprocessed Thanksgiving dinner and sharing it with good people

December:

• First annual Ugly Sweater Party
• Getting a Christmas tree by surprise thanks to the beloved and my mom
• Celebrating Christmas by eating good food and opening very thoughtful gifts
• Celebrating our first Christmas together (on the actual day) and in the new house
• Having a white Christmas
• Getting a week and a half off to read, relax, and spend time alone and together
• Spending New Years Eve with an amazing group of people

It’s been a great year. There have been challenges, like any other year, but the greatness far exceeds the challenges. Whether it was sickness, drama, or anything else, I have put my foot down. I am only accepting love this year. I will discard of those and things that bring something other than love and joy and happiness. I am a good person and deserve good things.

Some goals for 2013:

• Find a way to have more free time and work less
• Being prosperous
• Baking and maybe trying to make a little cook book I could sell to people who are interested
• Traveling abroad (Denmark 2013!(as well as the surrounding areas))
• Following “The Secret” a bit more closely
• Loving and living

Here’s to 2013! I hope to be more active on this blog, but who knows. I’d rather live life than write about it sometimes. :)