something was awakened

I was recently part of a local performance of Eve Ensler's "The Vagina Monologues." It was something I went to on a regular basis; something that I really enjoyed and felt familiar. Sitting in the audience, I was in awe at the women on stage, but something felt familiar. There was a tug on my soul, a feeling of needing to be on that stage, to be part of this production.

Now, I have been on a stage ever since I was little. I can't deny that... I was part of choir since I was in kindergarten... I loved being on that stage and singing my heart out. I remember a picture of me while in in kindergarten during our Christmas show, and I was smiling, wearing a halo, and wearing my red cast proud. I sung all through grade school, middle school, and for the last two years of high school. Getting into college, I put off choir for a year, but then sang in it until I left for England for a semester. Once I got back, I lost touch with singing and being on stage, but always debated on why I didn't feel 100% into it while singing.

And then it hit me. I auditioned for The Vagina Monologues, and I was enthusiastic about it. I felt a little nervous since I had lost the memory of being on stage, from performing, but I nailed it. It felt right, complete, where I needed to be.

I was very strict on going to every practice and giving it my all. Eventually the nervousness subsided and I got more and more comfortable. Just like I used to. Not just in choir for my life, but it felt familiar, maybe from a past life.

I practiced in my bathroom, working on my moves, my entrances, how I pronounce every single letter correctly in the script. It just clicked. I rocked. I was good.

Then came the actual performance this last Saturday. As soon as I walked through the curtains and went on stage, arms raised, costume on, I got an overwhelming sense of cheers and applause... but it was more than that. I felt like I was home.

The energy that came from me, I believe was felt from the audience. My presence on that stage was something I had never felt or had before; I felt strong, confident, and that I had been doing this for over one hundred years. I was this force that couldn't be reckoned with... I was unstoppable. I had fun. I worked my skit, I worked my body, I worked the audience. For being a beginner in this life for acting, I think it was noticeable that this wasn't my first time acting in the lifespan of my soul. It was an incredible feeling.

Needless to say, this performance sparked something in me, resurrected my soul. Brought back memories of performing a long time ago. I will be doing more of this; being on stage performing... it something that i need to continue to do. It was so releasing and so much fun. It was familiar and it was home.

This of course, is a funny post since I just got done reading, "The Power of Coincidence: How life shows us what we need to know" by David Richo. This book discusses meaningful coincidences and surprising connections occur that occur all the time in our daily lives, yet we often fail to appreciate how they can guide us, warn us, and confirm us on our life's path. This book explores how meaningful coincidence operates in our daily lives, in our intimate relationships, and in our creative endeavors.

Of course, this book and the play go hand-in-hand together. To think otherwise would be obscure and ridiculous. To be open to these coincidences and synchronicities is how you find not only what to do with this life, but what you've done in the past to make you choose this life.

I will be paying more attention to open casting calls for the local theatre production here to do more of this. I can't deny that it felt right and I had a ton of fun. I will also be participating in the Vagina Monologues again next year, that's for damn sure.