souls

Death is a funny thing. Whether it’s an actual death of a person, animal, plant, etc., it’s funny. I have become more open and more aware of the souls I have encountered over my lives, and while I can’t say that I have had many lives or that my soul is old, I can tell I am not a new soul.

The other week, I asked the beloved when he first noticed me. His answer was my first day of work; 1/11/10. Then, I asked when he first recognized me. He was a little hesitant at first, but said it was the same day, he just didn’t know how he recognized me. I noticed and recognized him the first day of work as well; there was something familiar, safe, comforting in this man and I needed to know more. I recognized his soul, but I couldn’t place his soul; I couldn’t figure out how he fit into my life in the present as well as the past. It was every day I would go into his office to just talk to him for a little bit—to probe and get to know this person that felt so familiar to me. I had no problem spilling my guts and not holding back. I felt like there were no secrets, and if there were, he already knew them.

Things didn’t progress until we started talking and hanging out more outside of work in November of 2010. Once we got out of the work environment and were both ready for things to reveal themselves, things slowly started clicking. The once distant, obscure man that I met back in January was slowly unraveling; become less distant, less obscure, and ready to answer any question I asked, without hesitation. That trust, that bond was something that made me realize that this person has and will always be in my life.

After we discussed when we noticed/recognized each other, I said, “It took you long enough to find me!” The beloved responded in almost the same way. It’s funny how that happens. I think a lot of the people in our life, which we feel this connection to, are ones we started out with. When we were a fresh, new soul, we clung to certain souls—souls that took us into their world and showed us things—souls that allowed us to grow and experience things, even though they knew that it was perhaps not the best idea. There are a few people, a few souls that I recognize and have had in all of my lives.

There are people I haven’t actually met yet that I feel like I know; people who I have spoken to over Skype, and while I haven’t even been able to see them, there’s something familiar there. I look forward to the time when we actually meet, and if I am right, which my gut tells me I am, there will be much to catch up on.

People are not aware of who they are. People are lost in the ether of superficial bull-shit, the ego, self-importance, and they are completely unaware of their surroundings. It’s hard to see someone you once held so close fall into this. But, what I have realized is that if they are going to fall into this ether, I would rather just wholly remove myself and watch from the sidelines as they continue to fall, hopefully notice and try to change, and climb back up from the massive hole of alienation, self-importance, and stupidity that they dug for themselves.

I will continue to wish nothing but the best, but realize I am no longer around anymore. Maybe once that realization that not only me, but others have left, things will improve for you. So I bid you adieu. Good luck. I have too many people/souls in my life that treat me right, that appreciate me and my being, who don’t let petty things alter the way they feel about me. Those are the ones I am sticking with. And I am perfectly content with that because they have nothing but love in their core.