Silence

Ever since starting meditation (I know I have been talking a lot about meditation, but these changes I am noticing are really important and huge!), I have not been listening to music. Let me rephrase that, I haven’t been listening to music while I am doing something else. I haven’t been listening to music in the car, at work, while I am cooking, while I am baking. I am giving 100% of my attention to whatever it is I am doing. This. Is. Huge. I listened to music all the time. I was listening to it in the car, at work especially, while I was cooking or baking. Now, I am enjoying the peace that comes from giving my attention to exactly what I am doing. It’s a nice shift… I don’t feel so distracted anymore. I can actually sit and think about what I need to think about, instead of just kind of thinking about it, and giving the song more of my attention.

I still listened to music while I was doing some spring cleaning this past weekend. My mind wasn’t really anywhere, and the music wasn’t all that loud to really distract me. It was Dexter Morgan, who has become one of my new favourite musicians. He doesn’t have lyrics; they are just songs with all sorts of instruments. It’s really quite good and I highly suggest you check him out. Back to being quiet. It’s an interesting feeling, being completely aware of your surroundings a little bit more because there’s nothing to distract you. Even being quiet with people—not needing to talk all the time or make a comment. Just being. I think meeting every week with the Vipassana group is helping with that. We are quiet for over an hour and a half. The teacher gives a lecture for 30-40 minutes, then we all sit together for 45 minutes, and then some of us stay for the discussion. It’s amazing how nice it is to be quiet, to have everything around you be quiet. When we are all sitting together, it is an amazing energy. I can feel the vibrations coming off of people, and they are all good vibrations. I have noticed that sometimes the energy makes me move—I start what I can only say is pulsing. Like a heartbeat. It really is quiet amazing.

My partner and I attended an extra meditation last Thursday and the one yesterday about deepening out meditation practice and what it means for us. We chanted, we applied the precepts to our lives. It really was powerful. Yesterday, since it was the end of our time, we participated in a ceremony, where we all chanted and went up and lit a candle to signify our wisdom and getting rid of the dark and only have light. After we all did this, Brian, our teacher, presented us with red cords that had been blessed by his holiness, the Dali Lama and our teacher’s teachers. I am faithfully wearing mine on my left wrist and will always remember my dedication to my practice. There’s a knot in the middle of it, which signifies a little Buddha being inside, to always guide us and to have with us. It feels good, starting this journey.

The group is going to have a two-day weekend retreat at the end of April, and I am so looking forward to participating in it. I have heard many great things about the woman’s house who hosts them, and how magical it is. It should be rewarding. And perfect timing. The group will also be starting a study group on Thursday’s in May, where we dive more into the literature of Buddhism and how we can really apply it to our lives. I am looking forward to this new energy in me, as well as how it is changing me. They may not be huge changes, but they are changes I can feel. And it feels great.